The benefits of music are many. Children who learn to play music increase their math skills. Music can improve our mood; a song can quickly bring back memories of another time.
Harmony’s Adoption Support and Preservation (ASAP) team uses an approach called ARC (Attachment, Self-Regulation, and Competency) with clients who have been through traumatic stress. When we were asked to come up with a therapeutic activity for ARC, we created a musical time line for children to use to tell their life stories.
Giving children a voice is an important principal of another ASAP approach, TBRI (Trust Based Relational Intervention): children are asked to identify a song and a particular lyric that speaks to them. I use this activity with my clients, and it is amazing how even the children who bury their emotions will suddenly talk about a feeling expressed in a song.
A young girl who suffered multiple forms of abuse identified with Matthew West’s song Broken Girl: “Look what he’s done to you, it isn’t fair, your light was bright and new, but he didn’t care, he took the heart of a little girl, and made it grow up too fast…”
A teen dedicated the lyrics of Mama’s Song by Carrie Underwood to her biological mother: “Mama there’s no way you’ll ever lose me, giving me away is not goodbye…”
A mother who was helping her child with the time line chose One Less by Matthew West for their adoption day. “Well, worlds collide and colors fade, and a man and wife brought their little girl home today, and there’s one less…lonely heart in the world today.”
A child reflected on his hope for the future with Pentatonix’s Radioactive: “All systems go, sun hasn’t died, deep in my bones, straight from inside, I’m waking up…welcome to the new age.”
Another child chose Katy Perry’s Firework: “If you only knew what the future holds, after a hurricane comes a rainbow.”
Our children from hard places often understand more than they can express, and they can identify with emotion when they hear it in a song. It gives them a voice. It’s a less vulnerable way of expressing feelings, because someone else has been there, too. I encourage you to listen carefully to some of the lyrics of your favorite songs, and see what resonates with you, your children, and your family!